Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Things Cops Say...

  • These 16 police comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:
  • #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
  • #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
  • # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
  • #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
  • #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
  • #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
  • #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
  • #9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
  • #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
  • #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
  • #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
  • #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
  • #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
  • #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to! write as many tickets as we can."
  • #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail. "
  • AND THE WINNER IS....
  • #1 "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Thanks Ronda

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