Home Security System

• Installing a Home Security System (Southern Style)
• 1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's size 16 work boots.
• 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a few copies of Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.
• 3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. (Include a deer thighbone).
• 4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
• Hey Duke! Big Jim, Slammer, Slim, and I went for more hollow-point ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad.
• I don't think Killer took part in it. Thank God! It was hard to tell, though, from all the blood. Took Bobbi-Jo hours to clean up the sidewalk.
• Anyways, I locked all four dogs up in the house. Better wait outside.
• They're kinda spooked.
• We be right back, Bubba
• Thanks Ronda